Thursday, November 12, 2009
I hate money. I hate surprises. I had surprises involving money, if it means I'm not getting as much as I'm supposed to. And I feel like it's my fault, because I'm on short term disability. I have a migraine. I feel like punching myself. I feel like crying but don't want anyone to worry right now. So I'll hold it in. I feel like I'm always screwing something up, even stuff that isn't technically my fault or under my control. I just hate money. It is the root of most of my anxiety. I hate it. I hate that I'm on disability. I hate that this is stressing him out, because he's handling all the bills right now, and now my check isn't going to be as much as it should be. Now he's just going to hate me again. We were going to spend time together again on Monday...like we did this past Monday, it was SO nice...but he probably won't want to now. I'm just a burden.
Posted by J at 1:23 PM