Friday, October 16, 2009

Dream 10/15-10/16

I saw my psychologist yesterday, and told him I was having weird dreams EVERY night...he told me to write them down so we could discuss them next time. So...I'm putting them here... will probably make no sense, most dreams don't...but I'm just putting it here so I don't forget...should have done it this morning when it was fresh in my mind, but I felt like shit from the Effexor withdrawal.

So, one thing I remember is that my best friend and I were visiting some big city, for some reason I think it was Chicago...we were in a mall...we went to one store and found a jacket that we both really liked (though I picture it now and it was ugly..hmm...) we both bought the same jacket.

Then we went to another store, and it had tons of awesome clothes. We were loading our arms with clothes and dresses, some fancy dresses for some reason...and she convinced me to run out of the store with the clothes, without paying...she said that the alarm would not go off...and no one would see (duh...)...she ran out first and I ran out after her...the alarm sounded and people started chasing us....she was faster and disappeared somewhere....I ended up running through the parking garage....I ended up getting away and for some reason I was at my mom's house....the only thing I showed her was the jacket (which we actually paid for)...and I looked at the receipt and realized I had paid $300 for it...I FREAKED out...because I don't have $300 to spend on a jacket and I knew my husband would be I started running again...through some big building with marble floors and fancy columns...I don't know what I was running from or why I was running...

Looking at it in writing makes it make more sense. My bipolar disorder has caused me to do some stupid shit and get my husband pissed A LOT. And I am staying with my parents right now until I'm stabilized on meds...because my husband is bipolar, too, and it was just getting too tense...we are both getting therapy...he's stabilized on his meds...I'm getting Lamictal was just raised from 50 mg a day to 100 mg a day....I guess the dream may mean that I've been running from the problem for so long...and I'm finally starting to get somewhere, I just don't know where yet....

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